There was a day when I could not look in the mirror and smile happily at myself, forget take a picture and post it for anyone to see!
I deprived myself in every area of life.
I ran hard trying to fill a void in my heart and to bandaid every hurt and pain I had ever experienced. I looked to anyone and anything that would give me the time of day and build me up if even for a brief moment. If they so willingly gave me a touch of encouragement, physically or otherwise I would try to hang on to that “feeling” for as long as possible.
My mind was not healthy. I compared my body, my abilities, my accomplishments and most everything to those around me, especially those who seemed to have it all together. My mind was drained from the impossibilities of being successful, beautiful and truly worth anything.
I fell into a cycle for years of anorexia and bulimia, followed by years of unhealthy eating habits and deprivation to keep looking thin and “feeling” good about myself. Anyone that has been through a similar scenario, knows the daily mental torment and proverbial dark cloud. Forget ever feeling content, happy and joyful, it does not exist in that lifestyle.
I have found through discussions with young women, my age, younger or older, many go through similar issues. Some maybe not as debilitating as an eating disorder, or some even worse. No matter the circumstances, no woman young or old should ever believe less than the best of themselves.
As a former anorexic, now made NEW and WHOLE by my creator, that means I no longer walk in darkness trying to fill an emptiness. I no longer only believe in myself when others say I am worthwhile.
I am motivated to live by the one who called me.
No man (even though I have been blessed with a good one), no amount of money, no amount or food (or lack there of), no perfect outfit, can create true happiness, fill the longing desire to be loved and to know who I truly am. I now know that I AM loved, filled inwardly with that very same love and endeavor to LIVE every day like I AM LOVED!
I am not perfect but in a process of transformation.
Some helpful suggestions if you struggle with negative self-image:
- Spirit – Connect with God. Pursue the one who created you. You are not an accident, but here for a purpose. Psalm 139 is a good place to start.
- Soul – Watch negative mindsets. Try and go through a whole day not thinking anything negative about yourself, anyone else or anything in your life. It’s harder than you think, even if you are a relatively positive person. After doing this for one day, take it to a week, then a month. Give yourself a 30 day challenge of stopping and exposing negative mindsets and watch your life change.
- Body – Eat! Eat whole foods dense in nutrients to fuel your body. Usually the more colorful your plate, the more beneficial for your body! Also find a HEALTHY (not too much, not too little) fitness routine that works for you. When you exercise, you release endorphins that help you feel better in so many ways. Sometimes you just have to get up and do it.
Now that’s my story, what’s yours?